Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
2:53 pm
Fri July 20, 2012

Panel Round Two

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Brian Babylon and Jessi Klein. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl is chosen to be Mitt Rhyme-Ney's running mate.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's the listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Jessi, an investigative reporter thought he had totally busted prize-winning columnist Connie Shultz in Ohio. He let her know he had incriminating photos of her embracing Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown. However, Schultz wriggled out of by it telling the reporter what?

JESSI KLEIN: Telling the reporter that is a drawing, that is a painting.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: That is an Instagram - give me a hint.

SAGAL: Well, in one of the photos, she pointed out he's wearing a tuxedo; she's wearing a white dress.

KLEIN: Wedding photo.

SAGAL: Of?

KLEIN: Them.

SAGAL: Exactly, because they're married.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She pointed out to him that she is married to Senator Brown.

KLEIN: Scandal.

SAGAL: Scandal. Ms. Schultz won't say who the journalist was who wrote to her. The journalist said, quote, "We have found numerous photos of you with Senator Sherrod Brown. In one of them, you appear to be hugging him. Care to comment?" Schultz wrote back, quote, "I am surprised you did not find a photo of me kissing U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown so hard he passes out from lack of oxygen. He's really cute."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "He's also my husband. You know that, right?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Schultz has been married to Senator Brown for years. She even wrote a book about being the candidate's wife when he was running.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The reporter in question, who she did not identify, out of some sense of mercy, he says he's not too worried about his career. His next big expose is about how President Obama seems to be having an affair with the lady in charge of the White House Garden.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, Google Street View shows us what streets look like at the ground level the world over. But they may have covered all the useful territory they can because this week they unveiled street views of where?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Places that don't exist.

SAGAL: No, it exists. It's really good for penguins who need directions.

POUNDSTONE: Street views of Antarctica.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's called Street View but there are no streets there. Nonetheless, Google has given us Street View Antarctica, using their proprietary fish-eye cameras to snap tens of thousands of high definition photographs that all look exactly the same.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's white over there, and over there, and over there, and over there, and up there, there is something that's white.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Do you think penguins do what we do and just go on it to see their house?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh look, there's me.

KLEIN: Oh, that's my house. It's ice. That's what a penguin would say.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They could use just one picture over and over and over again, right?

KLEIN: I feel like they would know more specifically.

SAGAL: The penguins would know?

POUNDSTONE: They don't know.

KLEIN: They don't know?

POUNDSTONE: No. The penguins look at themselves and go, "I can't tell."

(LAUGHTER)

BRIAN BABYLON: They're very vain.

KLEIN: They don't know the difference?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, that's either me or my Uncle Bob.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: I can't...

KLEIN: Uncle Bob.

POUNDSTONE: I can't tell, can you...

BABYLON: Uncle Bob the penguin, yeah.

POUNDSTONE: Can you zoom in on this? I can't tell.

SAGAL: Brian, one of the great mysteries of the Universe has been revealed. Thanks to a recent YouTube video, people around the world now know how to make their own what?

BABYLON: Give me a few words of a hint.

SAGAL: Well...

BABYLON: I know.

KLEIN: A few words of a hint.

BABYLON: I know, I know, I know, I know.

SAGAL: Well, the good thing is that now that we have this, now all you need is two all-beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun.

BABYLON: OK, OK, people know how to make the Big Mac sauce.

SAGAL: The Big Mac sauce, the special sauce, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The secret has been revealed.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: For years, people would ask McDonald's, hey what is in that special sauce on your Big Macs? And then, of course, McDonald's would have that person killed and make it look like it was adult onset diabetes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Clever. It takes a while. Can't be traced. But thanks to McDonald's Executive Chef Dan Coudreaut the mystery is now gone. It's made of what you'd expect: mayo, onion powder, crack cocaine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But the big surprise: McDonald's has an Executive Chef.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Oh yeah.

POUNDSTONE: I noticed that in what you were saying.

SAGAL: What is this man's job? Does he create the day's menu at McDonald's based on what's down at the farmer's market?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh he says, browsing the stall, I see they have fresh potassium silicate, let's go with crappy hamburgers again today.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: No, man, this is the guy, his job, which is amazing, which I wish was my job, is you just sit back and think about hamburgers all day, man.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Like how you can just remix them and tweak them and then get, you know, that cool...

SAGAL: He sits around and he thinks about hamburgers. He thinks about how he can make them better and then never does any...

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Exactly. That's a great job and he gets six figures.

SAGAL: Let me think of all the ways we won't improve our food today.

BABYLON: Uh-huh.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, so if he's the executive chef, that's right, he goes in every day and then just doesn't do any...

BABYLON: No, he comes up with things like every 14 months.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: Well, they have a new thing now.

BABYLON: Yeah.

KLEIN: They now have the McBite.

BABYLON: Yeah, that's him.

POUNDSTONE: Is a McBite is when an employee is just pushed to the edge?

BABYLON: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Yeah.

KLEIN: No, I'll tell you what a McBite is.

POUNDSTONE: And you say this is supposed to be a cheeseburger and then they just come over the counter at you.

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: A McBite, because I saw the signs for McBites, is a McNugget but smaller. So for people who thought that eating a McNugget took too long...

(LAUGHTER)

KLEIN: There is now, it's like popcorn chicken.

BABYLON: Right.

SAGAL: In the time it takes me to eat a whole chicken McNugget, I could be having another piece of chicken.

KLEIN: See, Peter, you get this.

SAGAL: I do.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: OK, plus, I think if you figured out, there's going to be more batter per bite. Is that correct?

KLEIN: Per bite. Yes.

POUNDSTONE: OK.

BABYLON: Can I say something?

POUNDSTONE: If you would.

BABYLON: That's executive chef. He knows how to get batter, OK.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.