Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
11:43 pm
Fri November 9, 2012

Panel Round Two

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, P. J. O'Rourke, and Alonzo Bodden. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Carl moves a ton of limerick nearly 500 miles on one gallon of rhymes in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. P. J., the National Weather Service and the Weather Channel are at war. The National Weather Service is refusing to go along with the Weather Channel in their new practice of doing what?

P. J. O'ROURKE: Naming winter storms.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two of old peoples' favorite things, the Weather Channel and the National Weather Service, are fighting. We all remember hurricanes by their names: Hurricane Andrew, Hurricane Sandy. Or from that brief period where we let celebrities name them: Hurricane Apple and Hurricane Blue Ivy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Last month, though, the Weather Channel announced it would begin naming winter storms too. You know, so that we wouldn't just say, you know, the blizzard. We'd say Blizzard Bob. But now, the National Weather Service, the official government agency, says they will not be using those names, for fear of doing something that is not boring.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: I think the next step, they'd just commercialize the storms, right, and it'd be like...

O'ROURKE: Naming rights, yeah, good idea.

BODDEN: This storm brought to you by Prestone Antifreeze.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Alonzo, a 29-year-old Rochester, New York entrepreneur may be the first person to legally earn a living as a professional what?

BODDEN: Can I get a hint on this?

SAGAL: Well, she can be the big spoon or the little spoon, depending on what you want.

BODDEN: That helped.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's spooning, like for spooning, when I say...

BODDEN: So a surrogate afterglow. I don't know. What do you...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, what do you do in that moment? What do you call that?

BODDEN: Spooning.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: What do you call the spooning part?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: Spooning.

(LAUGHTER)

ROXANNE ROBERTS: OK, you're looking for a euphemism for spooning?

SAGAL: I'm looking for a verb that encompasses that activity.

BODDEN: As in actually making love?

SAGAL: No.

ROBERTS: No, no, no.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Forget that part. That's done, all right. So...

BODDEN: That's usually when I leave.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

ROBERTS: I don't know this, so I'm thinking something like, honey, let's...

BODDEN: Yeah, that's when they want to talk about the future and...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: The this and the that and it just really - they go on and on at that point.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Wait a minute. Through the fog of 15 years of marriage, cuddling.

SAGAL: Yes, cuddling.

O'ROURKE: She's a professional cuddler.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: She is a professional cuddler, this woman.

O'ROURKE: Cuddling. Cuddling.

ROBERTS: I was trying to help you there.

BODDEN: No, it's OK, I'll lose the point on that. And I have cuddled. Women have actually told me that I'm a good hugger because I'm a big guy and they feel safe and secure. But I didn't know you could go pro.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: You know, I never thought of it...

ROBERTS: I think you can but I think it's against the law in most states.

SAGAL: Jackie Samuel is the owner and operator of the Snuggery in Rochester. She specializes in hugs, cuddles, snuggles, spooning and making people very uncomfortable right now.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She insists her services are entirely PG-rated and that her only intention is to comfort the married, middle-aged businessmen of Rochester and that one senator who sometimes stops by.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roxanne, officials in India have figured out a new way to stop people from relieving themselves in public. What are they doing?

ROBERTS: I need a hint.

SAGAL: Well nothing is more annoying than a drum circle, or distracting.

O'ROURKE: You mean they've gotten the Occupy Wall Street people all the way over to India.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

O'ROURKE: To keep people from piddling in the road. It's a great idea.

ROBERTS: Nothing is more annoying than a drum circle, and that somehow would prevent somebody from peeing in public.

SAGAL: Yes, that's the idea.

ROBERTS: In places where people might be likely to relive themselves, they have little boys following them with drum sets.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: No.

SAGAL: They have drummers following people around and if they do that in public, they bang on the drum to draw attention to them, embarrass them and stop them. A volunteer brigade of four to five people has been tasked with banging drums whenever they see someone doing it in public. Either it shames them and they stop, or they just start doing it to the beat, which is pretty awesome.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: At one point do they just say, you know what'd be easier? Public bathrooms.

SAGAL: Yeah, well.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roxanne, the New York Army National Guard has spent the last week cleaning up and restoring power in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. But they haven't done it alone. According to a report this week, the morning after the storm, the Guard received a critical assist from whom?

ROBERTS: I'm going to need a hint.

SAGAL: Well they came in like angels with lingerie on.

ROBERTS: The Victoria's Secret models.

SAGAL: Well, Victoria's Secret, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Victoria's Secret was the helper. Anybody who has thumbed through the Victoria's Secret catalog knows they provide a lot of support.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Last week was no different. The National Guard's New York headquarters was hit hard by Sandy, leaving hundreds of soldiers without power, hot water, or lingerie models.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Fortunately, Victoria's Secret hosts a fashion show in the same building, and they loaned their generators and other equipment to the National Guard. Because if you're a National Guardsman dreaming Victoria's Secret will show up, it's definitely because you want to borrow their forklift.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Afterwards, Frederick's of Hollywood showed up with sluttier generators.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

BODDEN: What I never got with Victoria's Secret were the wings. I never saw a hot girl in panties and a bra and said, you know, you need some wings growing out of your back.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: I mean this is OK...

SAGAL: It would complete your look.

BODDEN: ...but if some wings were growing out of you, then...

SAGAL: Then...

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.